bridgadidga

im getting tired of applying to so many places, and trying to organize interviews...
i can't wait 'til i have a few jobs lined up and im done with this hocus pocus bullshit
oh well, i need money. so it is worth it i suppose

ahhh...i have a lot of shit to get done...
and, of course, i like to procrastinate...

soon i am going to go outside and watch brookelette's softball tournament game
(again with the procrastination)

any day now that damn baby will come out...
my mom kept saying she thought the baby was going to come early,
so i got prepared for that phone call like 2 weeks ago...
and, alas...it doesn't want to come out
i don't blame it
i will let you all know when it finally decides to follow the exit sign and come out

A - Age you got your first kiss: actual first kiss 8th grade (i don't count truth or dare...)
B - Band listening to right now: The Mars Volta
C - Crush: mmm, had one...but he is not for me
D - Dad's name: real dad - Ken, stepdad - Mike
E - Easiest person to talk to: brookelette
F - Favorite bands at the moment: Mindless Self Indulgence, The Mars Volta, My Chemical Romance, Kill Hannah
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: sour gummy worms
H - Hometown: born in Shakopee, live in Prescott
I - Instruments: i played clarinet and piano, i want to learn how to play the guitar
J - Jewlery you wear most: my class ring, my great-grandma's engagment band, an amythest ring, and now my green-blue bracelette, and my earrings
K - Kids: someday
L - Longest car ride ever: trip to missouri
M - Mom's name: Maggie
N - Nicknames: bridgadidga, bridja-mofacky-didja, bridgie, bridge, boo
O - One wish: that i had a car and unlimited gas money
P - Phobia[s]: i can't think of any
Q - Quote: "do i contradict myself? very well then, i contradict myself. i am large, i contain multitudes."
R - Reason to smile: rain
S - Song you sang last: kennedy - kill hannah
T - Time you woke up: 9:00am
U - Unknown fact about me: i used to be obsessed with puzzles
V - Vegetable you hate: peas
W - Worst habit(s): procrastination, lazy
X - X-rays you've had: back, foot, neck, head
Y - Yummy food: milkshakes, pizza, poptarts, carmel with ritz
Z - Zodiac sign: aquarious

another tidbit of info:
i just got off the phone with mike (my-ex)...

well, this weekend i went home
friday i got to see fuzzy and aerbear!!!
i made lasagna
packed up my room because the house is getting lifted
(for a new basement, etc...)
watched spanglish and hocus pocus
had a bonfire
told my mom's baby to come out repeatedly
(still hasn't come out...
i told it to follow the exit sign)
eddy and tristan came over,
and we went to the mall of america at midnight
and saw the movie "the interpreter"
my mom did my laundry! (big happy face)
i downloaded music
and i got to play with finny

now, do you see homework on that list?
no, because i never got to it...
i am fucked

soon, blood will be spilt...

and joyous laughter will be heard from those playing in the puddles.

well, the last enrty i wrote was lame
so i must make up for it
plus, i havent written in a while
honestly, as each day passes by...
i slowly pull back further into my shell,
wanting to escape the enevitable things we face in life,
trying to run away from all the conformity i see around me.
i think i have finally gotten mostly over alex,
almost completely
it has been hard knowing that i am no longer his everything
thinking back, i dont know how to feel about our relationship in a whole
and more and more i begin to think that there is no guy out there for me,
no one to put up with my bullshit and to accept ALL of me,
including the "dark" parts.
but, it doesnt really bother me too much,
which surprises me.
eh, so once again, my live journal entries are full of babble and random thoughts

*
*
*
*

THE POPE IS DEAD!

on many notes, this break has been quite interesting and sadening sometimes too
i didnt get to take my trip to wayland and brooke and chicago
(to which i surprisingly found out that alex was very upset about)
i got to talk to my new roommate...they gave her a wrong phone # and she kept calling some old lady
ive been very sad that aaron isn't coming back, and i wanted to talk to him before i went back to school
but no luck
im very very happy that tony is coming back
ive also been happy that i have had the days home alone the past few weeks
so that i can go outside and smoke a few cigarettes and "disguise" that i did before anyone comes home
my stepdad has been gone on buisness for a few days
so mom and i ordered pizza and mom got this icecream from cold stone creamery
you tell them what to put it in it and they make it!
so we had strawberries, pineapples, caramel, banana, and marshmellow in banana icecream
it is soooo YUMMY! (tee hee hee)
i miss brookelette, and i am working to come down on saturday (looks good)
and i am excited to see rachel and kristen and ashley!
look at jessica! here we come!

well, i am home now
i got to see my puppy, which was awesome
oh fuck, i have to go now
i will write more later!

omg, my mom just fed me like a quarter of a container of frosting with a knife!!!

ttyl!

<3 u all

(1) Your gender: Female.
(2) Straight/Gay/Bi?: Straight.
(3) Single?: i dont know...
(4) Want to be?: no
(5) Your birth day: 2-18-86
(6) Age you act: 19?
(7) Age you wish you were: young
(8) Your height: 5'10
(9) The color of your eyes: Bluish.
(10) Happy with it?: wish they were bright green, but i am content
(11) The color of your hair: originally brown, now it has some blue & red & orange & green
(12) Happy with it?: of course (just wish it was longer)
(13) Left/Right/?: right
(14) Your living arrangement?: dorm (i luv u brooke!)
(27) Your family: fucked up
(29) What's your job: nanny
(30) Piercings?: 4 (ears)
(31) Tattoos?: almost...maybe soon (fairy)
(32) Obsessions?: music
(35) Do you speak another language? not anymore
(36) Have a favorite quote? would you like to go inside and watch me?
(37) Do you have a Webpage?: no

DEEP THOUGHTS
(38) Do you live in the moment?: sometimes
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: most of the time
(40) Do you have any secrets?: of course
(41) Do you hate yourself?: hate is a strong word, but there are times
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: ya
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: smoking, procrastinating
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: i cant think of any
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: black tears
(46) What's your biggest fear?: losing everyone i care about
(47) Can you sing: I try
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: y would i want to look cool?
(49) Are you a loner?: sometimes
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: it would definately be crazy
(52) Are you a daredevil?: not too much
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: cant tell you...
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: depends in the situation
(55) Have you got A ?: hmmm....i cunfus-ed
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness? strength-showing someone i care, weakness-letting people hurt me mentally and physically =-(
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself?: be more artistic
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: love
(59) Do you think you are emotionally stable?: hell no
(60) Do you think life has been good so far?: what a question...sometimes
(61) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: just because someone is family, it doesnt mean they have the right to walk all over you and put you down constantly
(62) What do you like the most about your body?: my eyes
(63) And least?: unclear skin
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: sometimes, but i dont think im hideous
(67) Are you confident?: sometimes
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: hmmm...
(69) Do people know how you feel?: most of the time
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: too often

DO YOU...
(71) Smoke?: ya
(72) Do drugs?: ya
(73) Read the newspaper?: sometimes the sports page
(74) Pray?: used to...
(75) Go to church? soemtimes
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: no
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: not at school
(78) Take walks in the rain?: always
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: not if i dont have to
(80) Drive?: not often
(81) Like to drive fast?: sometimes

HAVE YOU EVER...
(82) Liked your voice?: never really thought about it
(83) Hurt yourself?: maybe..
(84) Been out of the country?: hawaii, canada, tirnidad
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: haha...ya
(86) Burped?: ya
(87) Been unfaithful?: ya...
(88) Been in love?: yes
(89) Done drugs?: ya
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: haha...ya
(92) Had a surgery?: a small one
(93) Ran away from home?: wanted to
(94) Played Strip Poker?: ya
(95) Gotten beaten up?: yes...
(97) Been picked on?: quite a bit
(98) Been on stage?: yes! and loved it (ballet, cell block tango, singing)
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: no
(100) Slept outdoors?: ya!
(101) Thought about suicide?: sadly...
(102) Pulled an all-nighter? If yes, for what?: yes, for studying abunch, a couple times because i was really fucked up, and a few times for the hell of it (syran wrapping a car and a door...)
(103) What is your record?: 3 days question mark
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: ya
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: oh ya
(107) Slept all day?: haha, love too a lot
(108) Killed someone?: no...what a stange question
(109) Made out with a stranger?: haha...maybe...haha
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: ya
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: haha ya
(112) Kissed the same sex?: yep
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex? umm...no comment
(114) Been betrayed?: yep
(115) Had a dream that came true?: ya
(116) Broken the law?: tee hee hee
(117) Met a famous person?: sad face
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: accident? no
(146) Stolen anything?: yep
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: i did a commercial once
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: hell ya
(149) Had a nervous breakdown?: yep
(150) Considered religious vocation?: no
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: no
(152) Bungee jumped?: no, i would probably pee my pants
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yes...

CLOTHES
(154) Shoe brand?: i dont care
(155) Brand of clothing?: i dont care!
(156) Cologne/perfume?: hugo boss intense
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: comfy clothes
(159) Wear hats?: have some, dont wear them
(161) Wear make-up?: yep
(162) Favorite place to shop?: unknown
(163) Favorite article of clothing?: my knee socks
(164) Are you trendy?: not really, but i wear wierd ocmbos sometimes
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: no, been there done that

BELIEFS
(166) Believe in life on other planets?: ya
(167) Miracles?: ya
(168) Astrology?: not so much
(169) Magic?: yep
(170) God?: still working on that...leaning towards no
(171) Satan?: same as above
(172) Santa?: haha no
(173) Ghosts?: sorta
(174) Luck?: ya
(175) Love at first sight?: ya
(176) Yin and Yang? ya
(177) Witches?: haha
(178) Easter bunny?: no
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: of course
(181) Do you wish on stars?: yes

LOVE
(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: no
(183) Do you remember your first love?: yes
(184) Still love him/her?: yes
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: no
(186) What do you find romantic?: holding eachother in the rain and watching the lightning and listening to the thunder...feeling like you ar ein another world
(187) Turn-on?: tall, handsome, nice
(188) Turn-off?: alcoholic
(189) Do you base your judgment on looks alone: no
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?: awkward
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: both
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: who cares what is socially acceptable
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yep
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: i hope so
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: spending time together
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: ignorance
(207) What's the last present someone gave you? convertible mittens today (mike)
(208) Are you in love?: you already asked this...yes
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?: the one i am in love with
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: look

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON…
(211) That haunted you?: dont know
(212) You wanted to kill?: a girl from highschool named tara
(213) That you laughed at?: adam
(214) That laughed at you?: sara
(215) That turned you on?: mike
(216) You went shopping with?: mike
(217) That broke your heart?: alex
(218) To disappoint you?: alex
(219) To ask you out?: not technically...mike
(220) To make you cry?: alex
(221) To brighten up your day?: mike
(222) That you thought about?: alex
(223) You saw a movie with?: mike
(224) You talked to on the phone?: tony
(225) You talked to through IM?: joe
(226) You saw?: tony and adam
(227) You lost?: ?
(229) You thought was completely insane?: sara
(230) You wanted to be?: no one
(231) You told off?: eddy question mark
(232) You trusted?: alex...i dont know y i do
(233) You turned down?: eddy


WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
(234) Smiled?: seconds ago
(235) Laughed?: minutes ago
(236) Cried? cant remember
(237) Bought something?: today
(238) Danced?: today
(239) Were sarcastic?: tonight
(240) Hugged someone?: tonight
(241) Talked to an ex?: a few days ago
(242) Watched your favorite movie?: going to soon
(243) Had a nightmare?: lastnight
(245) Talked on the phone?: a little bit ago
(246) Listened to the radio?: tonight
(247) Watched TV?: an hour ago
(248) Went out?: last night
(249) Helped someone?: cant remember...
(250) Were mean?: dont know
(251) Sang?: today
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: too long to remember
(253) Said "I love you"?: today
(254) Missed someone?: now
(255) Fought with a family member?: currently
(256) Fought with a friend?: weeks ago
(257) Had a serious conversation?: few days ago
(258) Got drunk?: friday



man, this thing has been crazy. thanx if u read it all.
i would actually talk about something,
but i will not let myself tell anoyone (cept one) the things going on in my head now
and he has been changing
which has in turn increased the amount and intensity of my nightmares
which i will share with no one (cept one)
but he is the one who causes them
and if i told him that, he would not be as open with me about what he thinks and what is going on
last time it got this bad...outcome was scary
so i hope that things turn out better this time
sometimes i am scared to close my eyes and fall asleep
escpecially tonight...
and i dont want to sleep alone (my brookelet is not here)
and at home, it will be no different
but worse

on a lighter note...
have a goodnight to all
and keep in touch
for days are getting darker and thinner

hm...lets see
where do i start?
well, thursday night brooke, airbear, & I pulled an allnighter
we had a pajama study party!
and we unraveled a bit of my christmas green sweater
****brooke is packing down her candy bar****
so thursday night i wrote a five page history paper
and friday i took a bio final
and then friday night i went out with mike
we went to garfields in the mall for dinner
where they have crayons which you can draw on paper on the table
which was interesting to say the least
and then we went to his place in fountain city by winona
and i went to the bars with him
where i drank like 4 beers (michelob ultra...mmmm) and a few captain n' cokes
i was SO happy that i was able to drink and smoke without freezing to death
i also played a few rounds of pool
they had a jukebox, to which mike made me choose a few songs
i chose pour some sugar on me, which made me think of jen and our crazy partying together
(which, sad face, hasn't happened in a while)
and THEN...
i chose something that i was surprised was in there
so, people had been playing country and shit
and then my song comes on...
time is running out by muse, and everyone kinda looks around like "what the fuck is this?"
and i was pretty tipsy, singing along, and laughing to myself and the pure humor of the situation
aaron would've have enjoyed it
then i went back to mike's house and we hung out
he has a cute little kitty, which loves me
then saturday we chilled, went to perkins
and we watched the girl next door, bad santa, and super troopers
and then i talked to brooke after i got her message
she wanted to make sure i wasn't dead or didnt get kidnapped
i am here
i am okay
so dont worry
it made me feel so happy that people were worried and made sure i was alive!
happy face to the max
so i came back to school sunday
and all day today i have just fucked around
****brooke says "religion is the opium of the people"****

I am pulling an all nighter
i went to midnight breakfast at whitney that was jammed pack
it had AWESOME eggs and ham...mmmm
i have a 8-ish page paper to type tonight before noon tomorrow (today question mark)
so i am taking a quick break
---->but i must return to my paper so i may later go back to bridgetland


* ps. it would be quite different to be a nudist...



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last night i went to elliots with sara and ashley
when we got there...we had a surprise treat of special brownies
which were delicious...
sara drew a picture of elliot, but nobody could get the mouth right so they gave up
as we sat around the fish tank (the normal chill spot) we unraveled the green sweater some
we also played soccer in the street the four of us
and then we took shots at that billboard advertisement with a woman named bella that looks like a man
and ashley kicked one that bounced of the corner of the wall into the street
got ran over by a red car and flew back at us
some guy also ran over a blue bucket in the street
i guess it seemed funnier lastnight
but oh well

dont forget about me

so this afternoon, i was taking a nice lovely nap after i played spyro
and all of a sudden i hear the fire alarm going off
i make it outside and see 3 fire trucks pull in
all for nothing! ahhh
this weekend might be kinda lonely
hope u guys have fun at the show tonight
and u will have to tell me all about your special treat....

hey...i have an aol im name
real easy: bridgadidga
so add me

i finally got my computer back and fixed and im so happy for that.
now it works and ...muah ha ha
yesterday i walked all the way to the other side of the campus just for a fruit basket
my head is spinning
someone called the room today and let it ring forever
and then they called again
and i couldnt get to the phone in time
and i am uploading music
and i wish for all this sad drama would just stop already
everyone gets annoyed sometimes by someone, especially when they are having a bad day
it doesnt mean that they dont want to see you or dont want to be your friend
and would all the accusing me of liking someone stop, because i see this person as a good friend and not more
and hopefully someone can help me with my english...hint hint

Strange but true! You are the gifts given out on
Christmas. Not many know what is underneath all
the wrapping paper, and you like that. You are
one unpredictable person full of surprises. Few
people know how you think, or what your next
move may be. Because of this, you could be the
type who hides your emotions. It is hard to
tell what mood you are in. You could have the
tendency to go or ask around a situation to get
answers. You are the type who may prefer direct
experience rather than hear what other people
say. Merry Christmas =)


What Christmas Figure Are You?
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This track seems to be going the wrong way
I wish i could go back
and take a right where I took a left
it seems this is a never ending road
where people leave
and where others grow old
it seems to go on forever
without any stops
no one stops to ask if i need to talk
everyone seems to be five miles ahead
and I'm left behind
wishing I were dead

Reserved, quiet, wise and free spirited
You are a sprite of the Earth: You have a deep
connection with the earth and all its
creatures, preferring plants and animals to
people you are quiet and reserved. You
understand things on a different level and can
often see straight through to a persons true
intentions. You are mysterious to everyone even
those in your family, they may live with you
but that doesn't mean they 'know' the real you.
Being inside the house for long periods of time
can be torture, you crave the outdoors and love
simply escaping up a tree or into the forest
where you can be free. Although you may be
smart you are easy to judge a person because
you fear what they 'may' be going to do. You
are wise in things that most overlook and you
are very creative in many aspects like art,
music, etc... Although try as they may to seek
you, you are a free spirit. Just let them try
to catch and put you in a cage.


.::=What type of Mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
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